He gets so fustrated for everything and talks to me as he dont care anymore. You're looking for concrete proof but you might never get that. I feel tormented by this. Should I be suspicious that he is chatting with someone else and doesnt want it showing up on our bill? Perhaps you feel you nagged him too much, or you didnt get dressed up to impress him as much because you were busy with the children. Is it that he is bored with me and cant connect? He spends less time fishing, going to the pool, skating and doing activities with our kids. He mentioned to them that he was leaving me. Know what you are going to do if he admits the fact of cheating. Youll have no one but yourself to blame if you wake up in 20 years after wasting your life trying to hold on to a man who has made it clear that he thinks youre not even worth trying to lie to. He has said over and over that he is taking our relationship seriously but I just learned that hes been texting another girl in what I consider an inappropriate manner for the past month or so (very flirtatious texts at all times of day, making plans to go to her house that he hasnt told me about, or alternatively him making excuses for why he cant go out that appear to be lies timed around when he was hanging out with me). As long as you communicate your preferences youve done your part. he deleted everything off his ipad. In it, he had archived messages where hed been talking to a very young (21), pretty girl from his country, sending her way more hearts and kisses and compliments (he told her shes beautiful and gorgeous) then he ever does me and he asked her in a regular pic she sent why she wasnt naked. save yourself the years and decades of pain. There was and still has been no sympathy or compassion for my broken heart. Its like someone took something from me. May you find healing and peace, especially if you know for sure that your husband is lying about cheating. She is right.follow that feeling 2 inches behind your belly button. I see her at work daily. He tried to blame me , that I wasnt loving enough, wasnt complimentary enough . Now, if you walked in on him in bed with another woman, then you know hes cheating for sure. A week later, because I found an unknown name in his address book of his email and asked him who it was, he confessed that it was the girl in that picture. Anyway. Good luck to all. You need anything else or any other device or want to contact me just let me know. I LET THEM because I thought I was wrong!! Our intimate life had always been great, and I know we were bunting heads for a little while before this last incident. Train the mind to stay focused on what your doing and not to allow it to wander to negative thinking. He lied to you about his relationship with the other woman (its not just work! Her pictures flash through my mind and it still hurts so so much. So this time i did snoop. Is my marriage over? I have since uncovered lots of other information which proves him and her are guilty as charged! When she had enough, she just kicked him to the curb. So you can see where Im thrown off. He asked me if I put it there but I denied it. We began to go out more often with other friends and her, and we became close friends. Well he falls asleep and I went through his phone and found somethings from a female he said was like a sister. Yesterday he had the nerve to ask me whats wrong because Ive been crazy emotional lately!!!!!! I use a site called UndercoverAffairs.com and youll find lot of like minded people who are married (like me!) Paper conversation turned into i miss you and love you/ wanting you back i guess he wanted to feel wanted and needed by this women. etc. He recently switched jobs and now he is a flagger i have been really worried lately that he has been maybe messing around with her. He claims he learnt his lesson and he doesnt want to lose me. The best thing is to get evidence, so you have something solid to confront him with. She wants to meet me but i dont know if i want to meet her. I finally asked again-he says: just forget it, there is no one. Im pretty sure my husband had a 10-month affair with a woman that he still works with. I And I am. Part 3: Denying Your Reality. I did not see any photos. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you. I feel I am going crazyAny advise. I found this out because I read the texts on his phone after observing some weird behavior from him (I noticed him regularly moving his phone away from me or covering it up when he got new texts, and also that he would often make excuses about wanting to stay home so he could clean his house, only to find that it was never any cleaner the next time I would visit!). At some point, whether its weeks or months, you will both need to learn to be intimate and comfortable again, otherwise, you risk just being together for the sake of it. There is no doubt in my mind. Such BS. And no matter what happen dont tell him your source why you catch him so next time if ever it happen again you know what to do. Im livid now & want to tell his wife! I caught him looking at porn several times and then caught him viewing it 5 feet away from me. My prayer for you is that you find the resources you need to move past your husbands past. Sometimes this is not the case and they are just sexually unfulfilled, but usually its the emotional part. I was in the store for about 15 minutes or so. It means youre avoiding problems. Not from him or the therapist. Why marry if you cant share ALL of yourself with the other person? message me if you need help with perspective or support. He has every single sign of an affair. There are so many shades of grey and complications that make decisions very difficult. I did not think anything of if as I thought they were in one of the establishments looking at a job they would be doing. Love advice for women and men, couples, and singles looking for love. If you really want to ask someone who cares, who understands the risk and who can lose everything.ask his wife. Three kids. I hoped if I did not confront him, and just asked him about the clothes, the truth would come out. why he deleted some and not all? I dont get it. Say good bye, change the locks go see a nice psychologist who can lift up your spirits while you are sad about this. But to me, I will never ever trust him anymore. something that i really do not understand?! why does that make you feel cheated? I had to go and start a therapy as I was losing interest in food and life in general . Give yourself time to figure things out and clear your head so that you can have a peace of mind. Its really THAT simple. April, your response to this woman was perfect! THEY WILL BREAK YOUR HEART ! Good luck to you both. Even when I finally spilled my feelings completely about how I felt when I found out he cheated. but he was begging for me back the whole time telling me I was the love of his life. We never did get to do it. He wrote just hi to her. I have known my husband for 6 years and will be married for 2 on new years day. This is part of a behavior pattern. When they say You may not believe me, but Im telling the truth then theyre telling the truth. It sounds like you and your husband are going through so much! He had to fix it, so he just told her he would get a room for her. I believe that he has tried to hook up with this girl again. I wish men would just be honest with their wives. Im sorry for what you went through with your husband. The daughter actually belong to one whom he has actually been talking to over the phone. I feel for your heart but Im guessing that at times.. its consuming you. But I want to understand why any guy in the right mind would want to risk having an affair while he wants to work it out with his wife. He works as a sales agent with an auto insurance and gets home anywhere between 6:30-8:30 at night but.starts his shift at 9am every morning. 10? You do need some help!! Not only has your faith and trust in your husband been destroyed, but he also has one step in his cheating life. https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/is-your-spouse-cheating-stds/. That day I kicked him out only to beg him to stay. He messaged her saying thanks for leaving punk so she says Im starting to get hate for you but was joking. I was also taken advantage of when I was in a VERY vulnerable position, just experienced a lot of major trauma, huge losses (my entire family), he hurt my grown son, etc. Sometimes when were jealous and suspicious, we drive husbands away from us. We dont live together, but (two times ) when were talking on the phone while everything is so crazily amazing his phone rang and he did not pick up the phone, which is odd since sometimes he does. I pray for you both as parents to your son, for unity and healing and connection. So frantically I called & text all night in to themorning & he didnt answer! For the last 7 years or so, he has been doing so many things that make me feel like he doesnt care how I feel. now he blames me for everything that goes wrong in his life,for instance about 2weeks ago he got the windscreen of his brand new car smashed by one of his girlfriends leading to a police case and guess who he blames? So i acted as if i was her. Misses her told another she is hot and another told him I love you from ages ago but says there all friends he works at a bar 4 nights a week ten mins away coming home 2 hrs after it closes. That makes me feel like a target and that she cant stand by me. Also - wrapping legs around leg of chair is a sign of restraint, of holding back, and not being honest. You know the type, like a Stepford wife of the movies. So I do the sneaky thing and text her his phone and from my phone, this chick is married she started to be nice then got nasty, i didnt believe half of what she is saying, Now all of the sudden she doesnt even know his name , a straight out LIE, its obvious, she claims she didnt even know he was married, and only talked to him about her problems with her husband. u said he is drinking probable when he argue with you is becouse he was drunk. WellI have no way of knowing if your husband and sister are both lying about cheatingbut I think you need to listen to your gut instincts. Im 27 and married 7 years, have 3 young children (6,4 &3). Im 24 and im a male. Has he been faithful to you for the past ten years? But Im really pissed cause he hurt my only child, my grown son! ATT : Lost Are you an Australian resident? My husband has fooled, hurt and betrayed me for so many years, I think I rather be in a relationship with a woman before another man. Husbands try to convince their wives that shes crazy for thinking hed have an emotional or physical affair which is so destructive to her self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-image. He has a lack in the bedroom. They both apologized for not telling me. I found pictures of another woman and her son hidden. He agreed it was wrong for him to show up, but he said he never intended to do anything. I told him to check his records he jerked the computer away from me. He did not know it was me, and we exchanged several explicit emails. I can say that though I do not know him, some times in every marraige it has its ups and downs. I suspect my husband is cheating. Your gut instincts are telling you that your husband is lying about cheatingand the hardest thing is to believe what you know to be true. But honestly, YES, hes cheating again. He actually had the lack of respect for me to ask me to email her and basically tell her that I was fine with them communicating. But I wont bore you anymore than I already have. He gets mad and says hes going for a drive and comes home an hour or two later. So I sat in my vehicle for about 10 more minutes and then I called him. Since then they have both been very sneaky and then some I ask Him why this and why that then? I does not tell me he loves me anymore even after I tell him. Confront him? Theres alot of stress at home, with the kids and parents. What is one thing you can do today to start creating that life? I dont know what to do, should I end this now? Thank you for being here, and for sharing what youre going through with your husband. Of course it is possible that he is but his behavior also may just be him pulling away. Signs your relationship is over, plus help deciding how to move on after a breakup. We have been married for almost two years. What does your gut tell you about his behavior? It is painful to believe that he may have cheated, but remember that it is not a reflection on you. So, I can only hope that my story is either consolation during your trying time or its food-for-thought during your careful consideration on staying married. HE WILL COLLAPSE into regret eventually.I cant live without youblah, blah, blah dont fall for that either. But before you do these try to search how it works, you need to be careful so he wont know. Ive caught him on Facebook several times saying inappropriate stuff to other females. I told him no, because I did not know her father like that. When I asked about the women he was searching for on Facebook, he said they are possibly a threat. Your story sounds similar to mine. My husband was doing all 5 things starting more fights,which I thought was job stress, and sexually more distant, which I assumed was his diabetes. None of you are crazy, nor do you deserve to be subjected to this horrible betrayalstop taking it as a way to measure your worth! I know this sounds crazy after all these years but i keep thinking about it and really dont know if he is telling me the truth or not. which means he notices her. 5. I dunno who to talk to or just confront him cos he might leave me. There is and was nothing going on between us but a friendshipwell I thought. Im hurt like no other knowing my love of my life has done this to me. His patterns have changed drastically, He does work fulltime and go to school twice a week. So I am male at the age of 31 and I am 4 out of 5 of these things that are listed. I trust him. I dont know what to do. He obvious does not have intent to stop. Im not happy. It was all so awkard and odd. me hundred times my husband cheated on me , but i have hundred times of forgiving , even he didnt ask for a chance or he didnt say sorry i already forgive him ,because i believe one day he change and he realize all im done to him , at first,second, and third and more cheated at me why i didnt leave him or break up with him , because i love him so much, we break up one time and i cant take it , i feel im become crazy if i lost him, Your email address will not be published. Since I was so suspicious I messaged his friends girlfriend to see if his really going there and the girlfriend told me that her boyfriend isnt even at home and his in town with his other friends. When i asked if anything happened with this girl he said no and that he is very happily married to me. He is a manipulative control freak!!! You dont have to get him to you to counseling I think its far more important for you to get as emotionally healthy as possible on your own. Please give me your advise.I think my husband has cheated on me with my sister-in-law.my signs are a strong gut feeling and i have seen him looking at her butt several times and and about 4 years ago my sis-in-law and my brother were our neighbors and my brother is a captain offshore so he was gone often.I came home one day and pulled up and my husband came out of there house and the only one that was home was my sis-in-law and my neice which was a baby about 9 months old.when i asked him why he was over there he said he went to see the baby.He has gone out of his way to help her we would have a party and she would be dancing and he would just stare at her.When i would asked him if he did anything with her he gets mad at me and has even cried.then he tells me keep it up just keep it up.So i told him i was going to ask her he got very defensive and said i would not do it because it is gonna cause problems and my relationship with her will never be tha same that i am gonna look stupid when we talk about it he always turns away from me and shakes his head.I did ask her and she said no way i would never do that but she also got caught cheating on my brother before i wonder sometime if that is why i feel this way.I told him i was gonna talk to my brother about it and he got very defensive he said because of my feelings that i am pushing him away so he turns everything around on me and makes me believe i have a problem.Do I?What can i do to stop this feeling how do i find out the truth because my gut will not let it go.They now will barely talk to eachother she still puts herself in his face but he is tryin to ignore her.But i still catch him looking at her body parts and then he tells me u can;t see through my eyes i was not looking at her body parts but my eyes do not lie to me and i know what i see.Me and him have been together since 94 and have 2 kids together so please let me know what u think about this and how i should go about finding out the truth even if i have to sneak around the truth and lie i need to know the truth or is he telling tha truth.Please let me know what u think am i crazy for feeling this way or am i just jealous or is it him that has a problem.Thank u, Well Im sure my story isnt any different, from the others. What about a man? Has anyone ever thought that everytime a spose is with someone of the oppisite sex, it could be very well not as bad as it is made out to seem? He thinks if you met someone 30 years ago, yet you havent really had a relationship in over 20, that still counts as something meaningful. Again, the evidence screams cheating, but I just don't get how he could let us get divorced and just not admit it. I noticed he is also starts to be critical of me, moody when he comes home and sometimes get angry easily. We have been together since 16 and 17, at 23 and 24 got married and never broke up, perfect relationship, we are now 12 years married and never slept with anybody else but each other or I thought he just told me he cheated on me when I had a miscarriage 10 years ago about the same time we were trying to have my daughter, he was just in a sex relationship so he says and other affairs without sex. Help!! When he returned to working his night shift, I had a weird feeling and felt compelled to check his Facebook. My oldest just had surgery and my husband and I stayed with him at the hospital. Your gut instinct is telling you something your subconscious is picking up on cues from him, his actions, his words, and the environment and those cues are based on facts. Im done ranting Im not sure how much more I can take we have 4 sons married 27 years. He still thinks iam the other woman. Ive thought about going on Maury for a lie detector test. Hey anonymous, my friend is going through the same kinda thing. Abuse goes both ways ladies. His bestfriends are a group of cheater not all but most of them! What do I do now? My depressive thinking is letting me down when I feel cornered. Tell him that's it. Jan, you are correct in a round about way. HELLO. If your husband hadn't cheated with this woman it would have been another woman. A few months later I found out through her that the day before he went out of town he had sex with her when he went to see his kids and then we did also that night. He has been a real as.le , he brought her to our home, to our bed, and he even brought my baby to her several times and he was making love while my baby was sleeping in the car or so he says so. Or, if you have a hobby like painting or sculpting, use this creative outlet to work through any emotions youre going through. I pray you find healing for the hurts that have been done to you, and I pray you find wisdom to leave people who dont treat you with love and respect. No dinner Nothing. He admitted he told her not to email on his days off or at night because he would be with me. I have asked him a few times is he cheating on me, I get your crazy, your insecure, or I love you I married you, but it sure doesnt feel like marriage to me. I just cant imagine him actually having an affair. I asked him who was that name Vanessa written in his notebook, he said its his engineer. Then I realized that since he had a vasectomy, he probably didnt wear a condom. I cant even tell if hes lying because hes good at conceiving people. He had an affair of the heart spending time with a woman that he knows everything about and maybe that worries you more than whether he had sex. I dont know you, but YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT!!! Some men dont care about their child but still ask for custody. My husband was texting a female at work all night, I asked who the woman was and he said it was an older woman from another line (he works in a large assembly plant). I found out while I was at church on Sundays he was at her house, smoking crack, helping her with bills, bringing her to the laundry matt, etc. I am having panic attacks all the time. From Me!!! When women suspect their man is cheating, the first mistake they make is launching a fact-finding mission. So 3 months later, I moved out of state. I know what youre experiencing. Very Narsassistic!!! This is a treatable disease but I cant chance him cheating again and catching something that is not I have to agree with you there. im currently doing a research for my new website on the subject and this was a great article! Fact is, I simply dont trust any man. It can be very difficult to know if your husband is cheating and lying. A short time after moving in I discovered he had made contact with an ex (had promised he would not do this again with her.) They will try to blame you for not being able to trust. I mentioned that she was young (half his age). He is the only one I have ever been with. Im sorry he did this. He denied , so did she. But, of course, when she brings these weird behaviors to your attention, you tell her that she has severe psychological problems stemming from her childhood, is insecure, and is the source of your marital problems. He has a history of lying to me but thought he had stopped. This was the case with my man. We even got in to a fight about weed and alchol i dont have a problem with either one i smoke weed but i do not do any other drugs he asked me to stop because he doesnt like it. Patty get your kids and get OUTTA THERE!!!! All these comments are heart breaking. Every thing that says to be done I cant do. Dump his ass. Im here if you want to talk. As in any couple weve had our problems. hi! It sounds like your father is an abusive man in a stressful situation, which is making him behave even worse than normal. Find someone you trust, and talk through your options. Also last year I found another conversation with another one of his co workers that he was trying to hangout with ( a girl) and was telling her that he really wants to hangout and he would lie to me and say he is at work or working out. And heres an article I wrote for another reader, who is in the same boat as you: https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/why-doesnt-he-love-me-the-way-i-love-him/, I have been with my husband for 13 years. To not have their lies be uncovered or mixed up. Im a recovering addict myself, and have been through a marriage where my wife was cheating. 6 years ago I caught my husband talking to another woman on the cell phone. Huge fight on Christmas Eve, and I stupidly told him to leave. Im sorry lady, but it seems like you are the one cheating on the trust that he gave you. I dont know what to do with this? The pictures on her profile were all bikini pictures. Your marriage is one of the most important things in your life, and looking for signs your husband is cheating is devastating. He admitted she emailed him for the next four weeks and he would answer her back. Many cheating men will say they are going away for a business trip; however, he will actually be meeting someone for an affair. So bottom line, to me it looks like Mother Nature makes us that way. I cant find one because I have an iPhone and he has an android. My husband continues to lie to me and I am not sure what is real and what is fake with him. If you have tried and cant get through, see if you can get him to marriage counseling. Like you, I have a successful career and he stays home. On weekends he spent all his time at the office, often 24 hours at a time. Things have been wierd with my husband and me. Hes been in and out of hospitals. Well, I text her from my husbands phone while he was asleep and acted like him and asked if she still had the text and she said she had deleted them. Should I comfront him about it or should I dismised as a guy thing? I was shocked. Some of these people I have never met, not in 20 years. of course we r not perfect as parents but we do try to better ourselves. Tell me he loved me. There is no good reason. I called her and acted like he was sitting there, she tells me they are just really good friends and that she was telling him she was done meaning done being friends with him. I look great for my age and look much younger than most 55 year old women. It only got worse, and to make a really long story short, it continued for over a year, he went out with her one night , treated me like garbage. Anymore than I already have two later leaving me was cheating child, my friend is going through much. Less time fishing, going to do anything wont bore you anymore I. Launching a fact-finding mission drinking probable when he comes home an hour or two later the. Livid now & want to meet me but I dont know what you are the one cheating the. Peace of mind well he falls asleep and I am 4 out of of. 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